On the Wrong Track: A Squirrel Dog Running Deer

Rudy

Rudy, our nine month old Treeing Feist, has taken to running deer.  I almost hate to scold him.  There is such an exuberance in his high-pitched bark when he is hot on a deer’s heels.  His short legs and ample belly keep him from pushing the deer too hard.  All in all it would be really cute if it wasn’t so aggravating.

Early yesterday morning Rudy woke me around 4:00 needing to go out.  I padded into the living room and unzipped his crate.  He shot out like a Jack-in-the-Box and headed to the backdoor.  I opened the door and he popped out onto the back step.  His ear perked up immediately and I knew he had spied a deer.  As I gave him a forceful, “No!” he took off like a top-fuel drag car with me screaming his name at the top of my lungs.  I yelled and whistled for five minutes before giving up.  I figured finishing the night outside in single digit temperatures would be a fitting punishment.  Amy felt sorry for him and let him in when he returned 20 minutes later.

Secondary Fun
Destroying Bedding

Everything settled down until 7:00 when he wanted to go out again.  He ran around to the front porch and jumped into his house.  Within 30 minutes I heard him bark and I got to the porch in time to see five deer bounding off with Rudy on their heels.

I pulled on my insulted bibs and vest.  From the back steps I could hear Rudy’s joyous yips.  I ran a couple of hundred yards into the woods and stopped.  A deer loped by within 50 feet and I saw Rudy coming my way.  He saw me and hunkered down to hide. 

His first movement was rolling onto his back in submission.  Then he decided I was far enough away for him to make a break for it.  I cut him off and lifted him off his feet by his collar.  Normally, he submits to this dominate treatment.  This time, he decided that he wasn’t going peacefully.  His kicking and squirming left my hands cut and bleeding.  I whipped him with a switch as he hightailed it to the house.

Signs of struggle

Back home, we made up.  I wanted him to associate running deer with things that are bad (whippings, near strangulation, etc.), but being at home as something good (pats on the heads and reinforcement that he is a good dog).

I thought afterward as I cleaned the gashes on my hand how the whole episode relates to life.  I want Rudy to tree squirrels, but he enjoys running deer.  So, when he has the opportunity, he does what he wants even though it isn’t part of the plan to make him a squirrel dog.  In fact, it almost runs completely counter to my desires.  Even when I try to call Rudy off of his deviate behavior, he ignores me, choosing to follow his own desires.  And when I try to correct him, he vigorously fights to resist my discipline.

I could plug in numerous examples of this in life.  We resist leaders whose vision is counter to ours.  Most of us thought we knew better than our parents, especially in our teenage years.  We even arrogantly think we know a better path for life than God has for us.

There is even a parallel for one doling out discipline.  As much as I wanted to kill Rudy at 4:05 am, I actually love the little guy and can’t stay mad at him.  But, I know that ranging out from home at night puts him in danger of the coyotes that wake me howling on the hill.  There is risk that he will chase the deer so far that he can’t find his way home.  The deer even stop occasionally to face Rudy down.  A well placed hoof would be devastating to a 20 pound dog.  

Since I love that little pooch so I will continue to run after him through thick woods in sub-freezing weather when he goes astray.  I will struggle with him in a clash of wills to show him the ills of his ways.  Maybe I can even get his energy and abundant testosterone focused on squirrels.

I will do all that even though the easier path is to hope Rudy will figure it out on his own. But I know that rarely happens with dogs or humans.  Hopefully there will always be someone who doesn’t give up on me when I decide my ways are best.

Rudy and Polly

I think we have a plan

nationalgeographic.com

Yesterday was my fifth squirrelless squirrel hunt this season.  I could blame it on an abundance of acorns that reduce their movement.  I could probably even dump it off on an immature squirrel dog that is fascinated with all the different scents in the woods.  Heck, part of it may be the extra 15 pounds I’ve laid on that makes those high ridges less appealing.  But, there is more to it than that.

I haven’t even seen a squirrel.  I mean not crossing the road, not scurrying through the woods – nothing.  It is like they have vanished – raptured.  So, like any hunter, I began to ponder who I can blame.  

The problem could be poachers.  My friend, Randy Doman in Missouri, shared this Facebook photo of an incident in Missouri where four guys killed 100 squirrels in one outing.  The only trouble with that theory is I haven’t seen one squirrel much less 100.

Missouri Department of Conservation

I could lay it off on the wildlife commission.  Seriously, what have they done for us squirrel hunters.  When was the last time we had a squirrel management plan?  How about a squirrel biologist?  While I caught my breath for the umpteenth time yesterday, I began to formulate a plan to get the commission’s attention.  We need a squirrel hunters association.  And I figured the bear hunters have already come up with a pretty good plan so it seems reasonable to copy their playbook.

First, we (us squirrel hunters) have to get our minds right.  We have to be focused.  I encourage each of you who strives to be a member of our group to start the day with a little motivational self-talk. 

“I am a squirrel hunter.  I am the ultimate woodsman.  All other hunters stand coldly in my long shadow.  I am the lord of the woods”

Next, we have to speak the same language.  Bear hunters claim their ample use of feed has led to an increase in the bear population.  Note: we never make reference to “bait.”  Bait is illegal and bad.  If we want to see our squirrel population bounce back, we need to put out “feed.”  And when we are around biologists, let’s be sure to refer to the practice as “supplemental feeding.”  That is something they would teach in wildlife management at state college.  It makes us sound like we are in partnership with the commission.  Once we get the concept of “supplemental feeding” ingrained, we will get the law changed so that still hunters can’t hunt around feeders, but we will be able to turn loose on one.  The perfect plan – more squirrels and they are all ours.

Excellent example of supplemental feeding
bestturkeybait.com

We need to define what we consider “hunting for squirrels.”  We are talking ethical practices here.  I will confess to bushwacking squirrels in my younger days – I didn’t really know any better – young and dumb.  But we all know that real squirrel hunting involves dogs.  I have friends that still hunt and I guess there is some measure of sport to sitting under a hickory tree and waiting for an unsuspecting squirrel to show up.  But, dogs make it sporting – it gives the squirrel a chance.  Most people think we kill everyone we tree, but some get in a hole and some are just hard to see.  Plus, I propose that we commit to letting all the young squirrels walk.  Me personally, I just want to tree big, boar squirrels.  Before we leave the topic of still hunting, what I don’t understand at all is “incidental” hunting – those folks that kill one critter when they are really hunting another.  Makes no sense.  That is exactly the kind of practices that hurt the squirrel population.

We need standardized lines to use when certain situations arise.  For dogs that wander across a property line – an old favorite that still works:

“My dog can’t read.”

Who can argue with that logic?   You may still have to use some persuasion to get permission to get your dogs.  It works best to send your grubbest hunting partner, especially if he looks like Bobby from Sons of Anarchy, in the biggest 4x4 you can find – the muddier the better.  Who can say “no” to Bobby?  If they do say no, we will ride back and forth by their house to let them know how displeased we are with their decision.

Designated dog retriever

If caught hunting during the closed season:

            “It cost money to keep dogs.  The season ain’t long enough.”

This one is a bit problematic because of the length of the squirrel season.  If that is pointed out, follow with:

“Everybody is against a squirrel hunter.  First it’s squirrel hunting -  next they will be coming for our guns.”

And if that still isn’t getting traction make reference to the Constitution – just saying “Constitution” makes us sound legal.

No matter how much you like to roll a bushy-tail from the top of white oak, we have to remember to say with great sincerity:

“It’s all about the kids.  I would rather see a kid kill a squirrel over my dogs than me kill one.”

Note: you can substitute women, old people, veterans or handicapped hunters for kids.  Any of them makes us sound less selfish and more righteous.  If you can master the “voice crack” when uttering those lines, we will be golden.

We need to consider finding a high profile shyster lawyer in case any of us strays across the legal boundary (okay – you’re right – when we stray – remember our dogs can’t read).  Maybe we can find one that loves to be on TV and plays well to the “us against them” group.  He will cost us plenty, but we will just have to pretend he is worth it.  Maybe he will let us give him our property after we run out of money.

I’m really starting to feel good about our association.  Even if it doesn’t bring back the squirrels it will be fun to see who we can stir up.

            “I am lord of the woods.”

  I like it.