I think we have a plan

nationalgeographic.com

Yesterday was my fifth squirrelless squirrel hunt this season.  I could blame it on an abundance of acorns that reduce their movement.  I could probably even dump it off on an immature squirrel dog that is fascinated with all the different scents in the woods.  Heck, part of it may be the extra 15 pounds I’ve laid on that makes those high ridges less appealing.  But, there is more to it than that.

I haven’t even seen a squirrel.  I mean not crossing the road, not scurrying through the woods – nothing.  It is like they have vanished – raptured.  So, like any hunter, I began to ponder who I can blame.  

The problem could be poachers.  My friend, Randy Doman in Missouri, shared this Facebook photo of an incident in Missouri where four guys killed 100 squirrels in one outing.  The only trouble with that theory is I haven’t seen one squirrel much less 100.

Missouri Department of Conservation

I could lay it off on the wildlife commission.  Seriously, what have they done for us squirrel hunters.  When was the last time we had a squirrel management plan?  How about a squirrel biologist?  While I caught my breath for the umpteenth time yesterday, I began to formulate a plan to get the commission’s attention.  We need a squirrel hunters association.  And I figured the bear hunters have already come up with a pretty good plan so it seems reasonable to copy their playbook.

First, we (us squirrel hunters) have to get our minds right.  We have to be focused.  I encourage each of you who strives to be a member of our group to start the day with a little motivational self-talk. 

“I am a squirrel hunter.  I am the ultimate woodsman.  All other hunters stand coldly in my long shadow.  I am the lord of the woods”

Next, we have to speak the same language.  Bear hunters claim their ample use of feed has led to an increase in the bear population.  Note: we never make reference to “bait.”  Bait is illegal and bad.  If we want to see our squirrel population bounce back, we need to put out “feed.”  And when we are around biologists, let’s be sure to refer to the practice as “supplemental feeding.”  That is something they would teach in wildlife management at state college.  It makes us sound like we are in partnership with the commission.  Once we get the concept of “supplemental feeding” ingrained, we will get the law changed so that still hunters can’t hunt around feeders, but we will be able to turn loose on one.  The perfect plan – more squirrels and they are all ours.

Excellent example of supplemental feeding
bestturkeybait.com

We need to define what we consider “hunting for squirrels.”  We are talking ethical practices here.  I will confess to bushwacking squirrels in my younger days – I didn’t really know any better – young and dumb.  But we all know that real squirrel hunting involves dogs.  I have friends that still hunt and I guess there is some measure of sport to sitting under a hickory tree and waiting for an unsuspecting squirrel to show up.  But, dogs make it sporting – it gives the squirrel a chance.  Most people think we kill everyone we tree, but some get in a hole and some are just hard to see.  Plus, I propose that we commit to letting all the young squirrels walk.  Me personally, I just want to tree big, boar squirrels.  Before we leave the topic of still hunting, what I don’t understand at all is “incidental” hunting – those folks that kill one critter when they are really hunting another.  Makes no sense.  That is exactly the kind of practices that hurt the squirrel population.

We need standardized lines to use when certain situations arise.  For dogs that wander across a property line – an old favorite that still works:

“My dog can’t read.”

Who can argue with that logic?   You may still have to use some persuasion to get permission to get your dogs.  It works best to send your grubbest hunting partner, especially if he looks like Bobby from Sons of Anarchy, in the biggest 4x4 you can find – the muddier the better.  Who can say “no” to Bobby?  If they do say no, we will ride back and forth by their house to let them know how displeased we are with their decision.

Designated dog retriever

If caught hunting during the closed season:

            “It cost money to keep dogs.  The season ain’t long enough.”

This one is a bit problematic because of the length of the squirrel season.  If that is pointed out, follow with:

“Everybody is against a squirrel hunter.  First it’s squirrel hunting -  next they will be coming for our guns.”

And if that still isn’t getting traction make reference to the Constitution – just saying “Constitution” makes us sound legal.

No matter how much you like to roll a bushy-tail from the top of white oak, we have to remember to say with great sincerity:

“It’s all about the kids.  I would rather see a kid kill a squirrel over my dogs than me kill one.”

Note: you can substitute women, old people, veterans or handicapped hunters for kids.  Any of them makes us sound less selfish and more righteous.  If you can master the “voice crack” when uttering those lines, we will be golden.

We need to consider finding a high profile shyster lawyer in case any of us strays across the legal boundary (okay – you’re right – when we stray – remember our dogs can’t read).  Maybe we can find one that loves to be on TV and plays well to the “us against them” group.  He will cost us plenty, but we will just have to pretend he is worth it.  Maybe he will let us give him our property after we run out of money.

I’m really starting to feel good about our association.  Even if it doesn’t bring back the squirrels it will be fun to see who we can stir up.

            “I am lord of the woods.”

  I like it.

A Family Tradition: Walter C. Phipps, and Bill and Mitchell Lawrence

Phipps in Wildlife Pre-service School
Chapel Hill, N.C. 1953
Courtesy Judy Lawrence

There are few things more satisfying than when a memory surfaces unexpectedly.  While researchers have shown that our recollections are notoriously flawed, it is still a pleasant surprise when they pop up.  Just last week I was using a circular saw and the image of my Grandpa Caveny’s nubby finger popped into my head (he lost it when a saw kicked backed on him).  Then my other grandfather paid a visit while I was squirrel hunting a few days later.  The best I can recall, he only took me hunting a couple of times, but nowadays when I hunt squirrels, Grandpa Ruppe comes to mind.  Moore County Wildlife Officer Mitchell Lawrence’s career was jump-started by two grandfathers. 

Walter C. Phipps, Mitchell's great-grandfather, was born in 1926 and raised in the Piney Creek community of Alleghany County.  Phipps was a veteran of World War II, serving in the 95th Division and as a military policeman with the 6^th Service Command.  He spent a short period with the N.C. Highway Patrol before returning to Alleghany County to farm.  Phipps became a wildlife protector with the NCWRC in 1954 and spent most of his career in Davie County.  He was selected as the North Carolina Wildlife Federation's officer of the year in 1960.  He passed away in 2009.

Walter C. Phipps - Protector of the Month 1960
from Wildlife in North Carolina

Bill Lawrence - Protector of the Month 1969
from Wildlife in North Carolina

William (Bill) E. Lawrence, Mitchell’s grandfather, as born in 1940 in Bertie County.  Bill served three years in the U.S. Army and went to work with the NCWRC in 1965. After training in Asheboro, he was assigned to Iredell County.  While stationed there, he took an interest in Walter Phipps’ daughter, Judy.  Bill and Judy married and moved to Hyde County.  Bill worked out his career in Hyde, retiring in 1992.  Bill and Judy now split their time between there and Alleghany County.

"I do not remember my Grandfather or Great-Grandfather actually in the profession because my Grandad retired in the early 90’s and I was very young.  I do remember many stories and loved visiting to hear about the old game warden practices."

Mitchel Lawrence and Walter Phipps
Courtesy Judy Lawrence

"One story that always sticks out in my mind is when he [Bill] had to get some bear cubs from a tree and he used the help of a local lineman.  He asked the lineman if he wanted to use his ‘night stick’ to knock the cubs from the tree.  The lineman said no because he wasn’t going to let a little 20 lb. bear whoop him.  The lineman climbed the tree and when he attempted to knock the first bear off the limb and down into a catch blanket my grandfather had, the little ole bear nearly ripped the lineman off the branch.  After that, he slid back and said, ‘how bout throw me that night stick.’  The bears were successfully removed from the tree and safely transported."

Bill, Mitchell and Judy Lawrence at Mitchell's recruit graduation in 2013
Courtesy of Judy Lawrence

"I wanted to be a Wildlife Officer for many years.  I think the urge began before I was 10 years old but I didn’t think it was that serious until my late teens. After that, I really knew that it is what I wanted.  My grandfather was very supportive of my decision to be a WEO and he gave me a lot of good advice."

Wildlife Enforcement Officer Mitchell Lawrence

Wildlife Enforcement Officer Mitchell Lawrence

I suppose good advice is the most valuable commodity a grandfather possesses.  By the time we reach grandfather status, we have lived a life that has ebbed and flowed through most of life’s challenges.  Wisdom is sometimes shared through the stories that are told, but more often it is passed along in snatches of conversation and by living example.  Mitchell was exposed early to lives defined and shaped by service to country, community, fellow officers, and family.  It only stands to reason that he would follow those examples.

A Family Tradition: Mike and Matt Criscoe

One of my favorite childhood memories involves my Uncle Joe.  He had a Plymouth Roadrunner in the late 1960s or early 70s.  I recall the “beep-beep” horn that sounded like the roadrunner cartoon character.  Joe took me on my first 100 mph, no seat belt, no air bag ride on a long, country straightaway in that car.  I suppose my wide-eyed silence led to his advice that we keep it between ourselves and to not tell my mom.

In many cultures, especially those of Native Americans, uncles fill a role of primary teacher and disciplinarian of young men.  It is uncles who clarify for a young man the expectations of manhood.  So, whether it is a Cherokee uncle teaching the ways of life or a southern uncle instilling a love for fast cars, uncles definitely impact a young man during those formative years.

Matt Criscoe’s uncle, Mike Criscoe, had that type of effect on him.  Matt’s early memories of Mike instilled a love for the outdoors and strengthened a desire to serve others – an example first set by Matt’s police officer dad, Richard.

“An early memory was going to Vance County fishing with my dad and Mike coming to see us while he was working.  Later when Mike started the K-9 program, my father was also starting one at his police department (Archdale P.D.).  I remember helping Mike and my father run tracks in the woods, hide articles for searches and with basic K-9 handling.  As a small child I thought that was the most exciting thing.  While helping with that program, I learned a lot from Mike about basic tracking skills (while running tracks for the K-9’s) which I still remember and use to this day.”

Master Officer Matt Criscoe

NCWRC K-9s Nip and Tuck - 1949

Mike was instrumental in the NCWRC Division of Law Enforcement redeploying dogs through a formal K-9 program.  Tracking dogs were utilized by the agency, primarily on wildlife management areas, in years past.  In 1988, Mike and his partner, K-9 Link, initiated a pilot program that resulted in an additional eight teams moving into the field in 1996.  Mike presented at the 1999 Southeastern Association of Fish and Wildlife Agencies’ annual conference on the North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission Wildlife Detector Canine Program.

Mike Criscoe and K-9 Link

“At a very early age, as many young children who was raised in a law enforcement family do, I begin to think of going into law enforcement.  But it wasn’t until my mid 20’s that I made my mind up that I was going to be a Wildlife Officer, and come hell or high water nothing was going to stop me.

He [Mike] was very excited.  At the same time [he] made it very clear, ‘…once you make up your mind this is the path you want to follow, don’t stop until you go all the way to the end (the hiring process).  And when you make it, and you will, you will understand why it’s the best job in the world.’”

Master Officer Matt Criscoe

In addition to growing into an integral part of District 4’s wildlife law enforcement efforts, Matt was recognized for his innovation and collaboration with the Division of Wildlife Management in redesigning an alligator trap/transport unit.  This unit has reduced injuries with Commission staff who are tasked with relocating alligators.  For his efforts, Matt was awarded the Governor’s Award for Innovation in 2013.

L-R
Mike Criscoe, Master Officer Matt Criscoe, and Gov, Pat McCrory

Mike worked his last years in Haywood County, in the mountains of western North Carolina.  Like many wildlife officers, years of banging around in a boat left him looking to finish his career on solid ground.  He was reported to have said, “I plan to throw a boat paddle over my shoulder and start west.  When I find someone who asks what I’m carrying because they have never seen a boat paddle, that where I will settle.”

“Ever since I chose this career, Mike and I have grown even closer.  We spend a lot of time together - fishing, frog gigging, running squirrel dogs, etc.  We often talk about the job and compare how it is now with how it used to be.  I often ask him for advice about the job and he’s always willing to give it.  I’m very lucky to have someone so close to me that wore the same uniform, and with whom I share the same officer number and name.”

Master Officer Matt Criscoe

Master Officer Mike Criscoe retired in 2003.  Master Officer Matt Criscoe continues the family tradition in Brunswick County.