Retirement: Change is a Coming

It has been six weeks since a major life event – retirement.  Retiring was an odd sensation.  For almost 29 years I had put on the exact same uniform (well, not the same uniform – most of my early ones “shrunk” or wore out), strapped on a pistol and walked out the door to enforce the game and fish laws.  I did that for all those years right up until the last Friday, February 28^th, and then on Saturday, March 1st, it was all over.

The past six weeks have been disorienting.  I recently thought back to my recruit training in 1985.  I had never been away from home for any length of time except for short vacations.  I had spent the previous five years fixing banged up cars and trucks.  Within a few shorts hours of beginning recruit school, I discovered that a wildlife officer recruit’s day begins at 5:30 a.m., and that 5:30 a.m. is to be expressed as 0530.  I found that I was expected to memorize legal definitions and learn the basics of constitutional law.  And then, there was studying “after hours.”  The days were 12 hours long or more and within a short period of time I was mentally and physically exhausted.  It was all very unsettling. 

But, over years as I spent time instructing recruits, I came to realize there was truly a method to the structure of the training.  To mold individuals into something new requires making them uncomfortable and stripping away the familiar.  In 1985 that meant taking a redneck bodyman from a mill town and transforming him into a wildlife officer.  The past six weeks have shown it takes a while to reverse that process and help a law enforcement officer revert back to a private citizen. 

Most people say that they dislike change.  But, it isn't change that we hate.  What we dislike is the pain involved in the process of changing.  Some of the past six weeks has been painful and extremely disorienting.  I have moved from an urban environment to one in which I can see the stars again – the nighttime quiet is a little unsettling.  I spent several hours yesterday trying to find one small item packed away in one of 30 boxes.  One day last week I woke up in the middle of the night, confused about my location.

But, I understand the process.  The disorientation and frustration are required to help me move along to the next stage of life.  It is actually very exciting.